Tuesday, January 18, 2011

PUT IT BACK

Yes, I'm yelling.  I've gone through all the "right" hoops trying to make my point and when all else fails...YELL.

And really, it's stupid.  The issue.  And it's something the husband doesn't grasp because this never effects him.

I have 3 girls, all with fairly long hair.  MY hair is fairly long.  I have a drawer in my bathroom that contains my hair dryer, my Fat Chi, my brush, a round brush, a couple combs.  Now at 40 (something) I am beyond wearing "pretties" in my hair.  There are 2 exceptions:  a headband (which I use to wash my face and hold my bangs away from the cleanser and water) and a butterfly clip (which I use to straighten my hair, holding the top layer up so I can iron in small sections).  The only other thing in my drawer would be my thick ponytail holders.  THIS is my issue.

Does anyone else find that their pony tail holders disappear with regularity in their house?  I honestly do not understand this.  I buy my girls their own packages of ponies for THEM to use.  And yet mine disappear.

So maybe you all can help me figure out how they seem to be disappearing.  First you need to know my routine.  I sleep with my hair in a pony.  When I shower each morning, I take out the pony and put it in my bottom drawer.  I shower and most days, I dry and sprunch my hair, leaving it down (no pony required).  When I start to cook dinner (I pull my hair back for obvious reason), I go to retrieve the pony and abracadabra...it's gone.

I've come up with 3 plausible  and one off the wall reasons for this:
1.  the dog ate it.  No, really.  Because the cord to the hairdryer is always plugged in the drawer is cracked open and the dog CAN actually nudge the drawer open and pick out a pony.
2.  one/all of the girls have helped themselves to my stuff.  Not because I am the type of mother who won't buy them their own, but because they are careless with their possessions and tend to go by the rule "what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine".
3.  in my filially induced senility, I am not, in fact, putting the pony in the drawer, but instead stashing it, like a ferret, someplace that I will someday (no, not today, and chances are not tomorrow) find adding to my confusion/senility.
4.  the drawer, which appears innocuous enough, is in fact, a non-discriminating ponytail eating drawer.
5.  (yes, I thought of a 5th)  pony tail holders are in fact self combusting, but only when placed in a drawer with a slightly elevated temperature from a recently used hairdryer and the faint scent of Aussie's Sprunch.

Ever analytical (the math major in me....just don't ask me to add or subtract), I have attempted the process of elimination:
1.  The dog.  Too easy.  Reminiscent of "the dog ate my homework".  PLUS, I know this dog.  YES, she does get into the drawer, and yes she does take my ponies.  However, her modus operandi is NOT to actually EAT them.  It is to play with them in front of me in an attempt to garner attention.  Occasionally she chews them to the point where they are no longer usable, but she then just leaves them.  I have not found any such ponies in recent days and yet, the past two days I have had to enter my "secret" stash of ponies because the one from the previous day has disappeared.
2. The girls.  Past precedent (and the giant red arrow) indicates this bears much more scrutiny.
3.  Filial induced senility.  I believe that since I can actually come up with this as a culprit, means that I can immediately dismiss as a possible suspect.  Also, given that 3 of my 4 children are girls (back to math) means that the girls are 75% responsible for said filial induced senility.
4. and 5. require a suspension of disbelief.  NOT impossible, but highly improbable.

So, given my careful analysis, I believe I have a culprit.  No real punishment is necessary beyond the re-reading (again...yes, that is redundant) of the Golden Rules for Living   with special attention given to both number 6 and number 9.

IF YOU BORROW IT, RETURN IT.
IF YOU MOVE IT, PUT IT BACK.




2 comments:

  1. Look on your wrist; I sometimes find them there but more than likely they are in my daughter's dresser drawer. :) I can sympathize.

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  2. Well, I have 3 boys and 0 girls in my house and the dog isn't even allowed in the area where I keep my ponies... and yet the same phenomenon of disappearing ponies happens in my house...

    So I'm voting for cause #3 or #4.

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